"We still think in terms of conquest. We still haven't become mature enough to think of ourselves as only a tiny part of a vast and incredible universe. Man's attitude toward nature is today critically important simply because we have now acquired a fateful power to alter and destroy nature. But man is a part of nature and his war against nature is inevitably a war against himself… Now, I truly believe that we in this generation must come to terms with nature, and I think we're challenged as mankind has never been challenged before to prove our maturity and our mastery, not of nature, but of ourselves."
- Rachel Carson
My thoughts on self control:
Self control is a continuous and tumultuous battle between desires and propriety. I want is challenged by I should, I must, I need, I'm obliged to, and I have to. Even outnumbered as it is, desires rule our everyday actions. They bubble up inside of us, filling us with a brand of possible euphoria of the idea of just giving in. They whisper in our ears our hearts desires, only to laugh at us as we fall short of all our own expectations. The less savory desires are held in check, for the most part, by our own set of morals and codes of conduct, influenced by society, by friends, by family. (Though, for the smaller, seemingly inconsequential desires, we're all shit out of luck for some saving grace, if you ask me.) These checks in behavior speak of time tried wisdoms, rationality, responsibility, and other respectable ideas that fall on the heartfelt but deaf ears of the young. Rarely are the two in harmony.
Yet in order to succeed in life, we must have self control. We must be able to sit patiently and wait for the right time to say something. We must try our hardest to be mature and keep our promises. We must learn to exercise restraint when all we feel like doing is nothing, but must do so much more than that. What we call self control is the main propler in the upkeep of society.
But do we really have as much self control as we would like to pretend? No, and those of us who boast of being 'in control' of their lives are completely delusional. Aside from the chance happenings of the universe, we are still dictated by our desires. Obtaining self control is a desire in itself. We desire to know that we can control ourselves and what we do with our bodies and minds and sometimes our hearts. Because then all those things we can't control in our lives become just a little more bearable. We clutch at whatever control we have with a death grip. But in reality, all we can hope to do is slow the inevitable change. So we play along with the rest of humanity, adhere to social scripts, follow the prescribed antidote to matters of the heart, and say polite inconsequential indifferent words to appease people whenever they feel as if their own imaginary control is being challenged by others. By doing this, we fool ourselves into thinking that we have put off some socially unacceptable scene or we have delayed some unwanted event just a little longer. (I wonder though, that in thinking it, in mentally indulging in it as it were, are we giving in to our desires to some extent? It may not be full out breaking down, but isn't fantasizing about something just a more acceptable way of giving in?)
Am I saying we should all give in to our desires or we should live a life without desires? No, that is impossible and very unrealistic. But we must live in this imaginary world full of self delusions, we must make the best of it, and we must constantly search for that balance between acknowledging what we can not control and attempting to control what we can not. We must accept this and get on with our lives, much to our constant dismay. We can't forget that we're powerless in the long run to the will of whatever we believe in, but still we must strive to put significance into what we do. A life devoid of significance is no life at all.
2 comments:
First off, I wanna say, very well written work here. Lots of truths. It's just another one of those things in life that we must keep in balance, the giving in and denying our desires. Life's funny that way sometimes, that the things we desire most are usually unattainable, and then when we have them we take them for granted. I'm sure if oxygen was in short supply, we'd all desire it above all things, but instead we take breaths subconsciously.
Also, I think it's important to "fantasize" about some of our desires. It makes living without what we desire easier to cope with, and oftentimes when pondering over our desires it gives us the courage to give in to them when we need to, but cannot bring ourselves to do it.
I agree with Luke. Very well written and I think something like this is what people need to hear every once in a while because you're right. We really don't have as much control as we think. Everyone out there is another person with their own set of wills and desires and they aren't going to always behave the way we'd like even in situations that we think we have under control and understand. People have to be ready for to accept things that are unexpected because more often than not things are not going to turn out the way that's imagined.
As to fantasizing, everyone does it to be sure, but I think it could be compared to a drug almost. It helps for a bit, but then you just end up thinking about what you don't have more and more and thinking about it often makes the desire stronger as well as a potential for a feeling of hopelessness since you don't have that. (I hope I'm making sense.) So I don't think it's a bad thing to fantasize, I want to make that clear, but sometimes it makes us hold onto things that we simply cannot have.
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