It's been a while...

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”
- Mark Twain

It's been a while since the last time I've pontificated a point or an idea on this blog. From then til now life has moved on in its ever stubborn matter, not caring if I say something, do something, feel something. Good old life.

I haven't been exactly relaxed these past few months. I tried to make life better, but who knows what can be called better from worse. Maybe you have to make it worse in order to make it better. Start with destruction so that you may know what it means to create. Maybe life is just one mistake after another, some better than others, some worse. Mistakes are just decisions we make, and in hindsight regret. In their conception, they were just as innocent as any other action. Does that make them any easier to view and look back on? No, it does nothing to help whatsoever. It merely adds more words to their contemplation and gives me something to talk about while skirting other issues.

Now that Spring is approaching again, I feel the need to run away. South, of course. Away from the mud and cold of the winter. In the middle of the night, the windows rolled down, the road stretching out behind me in a fading concrete banner, the stars spelling out the hours and months and seasons, the nearly tangible smell of dark forests and deserted beaches - I would run away if I could. If I didn't have so many connections with this world, so many reasons not to leave, I don't know if I'd ever stay in one place longer than a season.

So if you find yourself talking to me late one night and I randomly ask you to run away with me, keep this in mind. I'm not crazy, I'm just restless. There are some days that stick out in your mind's eye. When all you want to do is escape what's going according to plan because the sound of your own voice and the feel of the same routines makes your skin crawl. It's because sometimes, good enough isn't enough anymore.